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foxysquidalsoTitle: Sucker
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Wordcount: 1,676
Pairing: Gumshoe/Edgeworth
Warnings: mild innuendo
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Notes: Set at some vague time after the second KG-8 Incident, but before Phoenix becomes an attorney. Written for my Awesome Bingo invented in cahoots with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
plutokitty, for the prompt "lollipop".
Sucker.
Miles was so lost in his work, he was uncharacteristically inattentive and did not hear the door open. Yet no matter how preoccupied he was, it was impossible to miss the heavy footsteps that followed, and he glanced up from his computer screen with a start. "Detective!"
Detective Gumshoe gave a start of his own. "Yes, sir!"
"Haven't I told you to knock before entering?" Miles asked. He would have considered locking his door while he was working, but the thought of having to rise to let people in--especially the detective, with his frequent comings and goings--was hardly appealing.
"Sorry, sir, I forgot. I'll remember next time."
Gumshoe grinned so broadly and earnestly that Miles found it difficult to muster real anger at him. Instead, he huffed, mildly annoyed. "I will believe that claim when I am presented with evidence to support it."
Gumshoe nodded. "I know how you love evidence, sir." He clomped his way over to Miles' desk. "What're you working on?"
"I am working on a number of cases at the moment," Miles informed him, a little incredulous. Didn't the detective have anything better to do with his time? He'd have to call the precinct and see that Gumshoe was given a case of his own to work on, though Miles could see why his supervisors might have wanted to avoid that eventuality.
"Anything I can do to help?"
"No, I--" Miles broke off suddenly. His heavy caseload was certainly talking a toll. Somehow, he had failed to immediately notice what was sticking out of Gumshoe's mouth. "What is that, Detective?"
"What?"
"In your mouth."
"This?" Gumshoe grasped the pale stick jutting from the corner of his mouth and pulled, revealing a glistening red ball of candy on the other end of it. "Ha ha, sir, it's a lollipop. Haven't you seen one before?"
"Yes, I have. My question was not literal, but I see I must spell things out for you, as usual. Why do you have that object in your mouth?"
"Oh, right. Why didn't you say so? You see, I thought I could do with a gimmick. You know, all the good cops have neat gimmicks. Like a trademark or something! Like you've got your ruffles."
Miles almost rose to the unintended bait and told the detective that his cravat was not a gimmick, but he knew it would be a futile endeavor. "And you decided on a lollipop?"
"Yes, sir. Detective Badd is always sucking on a lollipop, so I'd give it a try and see if it worked for me, too."
"Detective Badd."
"He's one of the detectives down at the precinct. Usually I call him Pops, because I think that sounds cool, but--"
"Detective." Miles' soft sigh was a weary one. "I know who Detective Badd is. I met him on the same day I met you, if you recall."
"That's right!" Gumshoe laughed and scratched the back his head. "I forgot for a second, can you believe that?"
Miles could.
"That sure was a crazy day, wasn't it?" Gumshoe went on. "I wonder if we'll ever--"
"Please," said Miles, interrupting before he was washed away in a flood of overblown nostalgia and unnecessary speculation, "can you tell me why you think a lollipop would be a good 'gimmick' for you if it is already in use by Detective Badd? In that case, it's hardly distinctive."
Gumshoe took a minute to absorb his words. He blinked. "I--I hadn't thought of that, sir. That's a good point. Huh." He looked at the lollipop, which was still in his hand. "Guess I should go with something else."
"That might be a better idea."
"How about drinking coffee? There's a lot of free coffee down at the station. Or maybe I could play a musical instrument. Or wear reflective glasses?"
"You are the most--," he began, flustered, then broke off. There was no point in being insulting. He paused to compose himself. The detective had an unprecedented knack for perplexing him. "What do those things have to do with detective work?"
Gumshoe shrugged. "I don't know. Lollipops don't have a lot to do with detective work either."
"Then you can dispense with those as well."
"I guess so, sir." If Detective Gumshoe had had a crest, it would have fallen. As it was, the unkempt locks of hair that rose above his forehead wilted somewhat.
Miles nodded and coldly returned to his work, hoping that the detective would take the hint and leave, or at least keep quiet. For a short time, it seemed his hope was not in vain, but he soon became aware of a noise. A low yet constant, intrusive noise. He raised his head. The detective had, wonder of wonders, managed to quietly occupy himself, gazing at the books on Miles' shelf. He had also put the lollipop back in his mouth and was audibly sucking on it.
Miles opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Unlike Detective Badd, who, as Miles recalled, had kept his lollipop in his mouth for the most part, Gumshoe seemed driven by a compulsion to play with his. He kept pulling it out of his mouth, then sliding it back in, pausing in this back-and-forth intermittently to lick idly at the candy. As Miles watched his ceaseless fiddling, he slowly realized that time was beginning to pass, yet he had taken no action. He was sitting very still, as if transfixed. It was most unlike him. He felt he should at least clear his throat, or otherwise express his displeasure, yet he did not.
Even worse, the detective must have sensed his gaze and turned towards him. Gumshoe pulled out his lollipop. "Sir?" he asked.
Miles found himself wishing the detective would lick the candy again, and at the thought, he felt alarmingly warm beneath his suit. "Nothing, Detective. I simply wondered what you thought you were doing."
"I was just waiting around until you needed me for something."
"Honestly, that's not the most productive thing you could be doing." For some reason, Miles was unable to raise his sight line to the detective's eyes, instead continuing to focus on his mouth.
"Is there something I could do for you, sir?" asked Gumshoe hopefully.
Miles felt himself swallow, unable to control the response. "No, thank you."
"Are you sure? Because I would. I'd do anything."
Miles pressed his hands down on his desk, willing them to be still, concentrating on the cool, flat surface, trying to focus on anything other than the detective's wet and surely very sweet lips. "Yes. You can get rid of that candy. The noises you're making with it are quite irritating."
"But sir--"
Miles knew by that heartbroken look on his face what his protest was going to be before he made it.
Proving him right, Gumshoe said sorrowfully, "I spent money on it. I can't just throw it out."
"Very well!" Miles' voice came out sharper than he'd intended. "Finish the candy, but after that, you're not to buy any more of it, do you understand me?"
"I understand."
"Please try to eat it as quietly as possible," Miles added, more gently.
"Will do, sir." Gumshoe brightened. "I won't let you down."
Miles didn't see what eating candy like a normal adult had to do with not letting him down, but he didn't comment on that point. "And will you drop this ridiculous idea of having a gimmick? You already have your pencil, isn't that enough?"
"Hey, right, my pencil!" Gumshoe reached up to check his ear, and yes, the bright red pencil was tucked behind it, as usual. "I love my pencil."
"I know," said Miles. The detective was still sucking on that candy of his. Miles forced himself to look away. At least he only had to suffer through the time it took the detective to consume one of the candies, and that wouldn't last much longer, for logic dictated--
Yes, there it was. The telltale crunch as the detective lost patience with sucking and bit down on his lollipop. Miles breathed a sigh of relief.
"What was that, sir?"
"Nothing, Detective."
***
Miles had miscalculated, but it wasn't until the next morning that he realized his mistake. Gumshoe showed up, popping in through the office door without knocking, as always. As had been the case the day before, a lollipop stick was jutting from the corner of his mouth.
Miles scowled. "Detective. Didn't I tell you to give up on those things?"
"What, my sucker?" Gumshoe pulled it out of his mouth noisily. His lips and the candy gleamed. "Yeah, you did. And I'm not going to buy any more. Promise."
"But what about that one?" asked Miles, yet even as he asked the question, the awful realization was dawning on him.
"Oh, I bought a big bucket of them on clearance down at the dollar store! So I've got weeks' worth of them. They're pretty good, too. They don't taste old or anything." He popped the lollipop back in his mouth and began to suck again.
Miles shuddered. He felt unspeakably warm, torn between telling the detective never to eat another lollipop again and telling him to keep sucking on it because it looked so good--not that he'd ever say anything of the kind out loud. Oh, but he was weak. What was he going to do?
"Are you okay, sir?" the detective asked, his brow creasing. "You look all flushed."
Before Miles could do anything to stop him, the detective was at his desk, touching his face. "No," Miles insisted weakly, making himself pull away. "I'm fine, I assure you."
"If you're sure, sir." Gumshoe leaned over him, eyes narrowed in concern, the sugary smell of the candy strong on his breath.
Miles licked his lips. "I'm sure," he said, without much conviction. He forced himself to turn away and pick up a case file. The few weeks ahead of him were going to be long ones indeed.
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Wordcount: 1,676
Pairing: Gumshoe/Edgeworth
Warnings: mild innuendo
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Notes: Set at some vague time after the second KG-8 Incident, but before Phoenix becomes an attorney. Written for my Awesome Bingo invented in cahoots with
plutokitty, for the prompt "lollipop".Sucker.
Miles was so lost in his work, he was uncharacteristically inattentive and did not hear the door open. Yet no matter how preoccupied he was, it was impossible to miss the heavy footsteps that followed, and he glanced up from his computer screen with a start. "Detective!"
Detective Gumshoe gave a start of his own. "Yes, sir!"
"Haven't I told you to knock before entering?" Miles asked. He would have considered locking his door while he was working, but the thought of having to rise to let people in--especially the detective, with his frequent comings and goings--was hardly appealing.
"Sorry, sir, I forgot. I'll remember next time."
Gumshoe grinned so broadly and earnestly that Miles found it difficult to muster real anger at him. Instead, he huffed, mildly annoyed. "I will believe that claim when I am presented with evidence to support it."
Gumshoe nodded. "I know how you love evidence, sir." He clomped his way over to Miles' desk. "What're you working on?"
"I am working on a number of cases at the moment," Miles informed him, a little incredulous. Didn't the detective have anything better to do with his time? He'd have to call the precinct and see that Gumshoe was given a case of his own to work on, though Miles could see why his supervisors might have wanted to avoid that eventuality.
"Anything I can do to help?"
"No, I--" Miles broke off suddenly. His heavy caseload was certainly talking a toll. Somehow, he had failed to immediately notice what was sticking out of Gumshoe's mouth. "What is that, Detective?"
"What?"
"In your mouth."
"This?" Gumshoe grasped the pale stick jutting from the corner of his mouth and pulled, revealing a glistening red ball of candy on the other end of it. "Ha ha, sir, it's a lollipop. Haven't you seen one before?"
"Yes, I have. My question was not literal, but I see I must spell things out for you, as usual. Why do you have that object in your mouth?"
"Oh, right. Why didn't you say so? You see, I thought I could do with a gimmick. You know, all the good cops have neat gimmicks. Like a trademark or something! Like you've got your ruffles."
Miles almost rose to the unintended bait and told the detective that his cravat was not a gimmick, but he knew it would be a futile endeavor. "And you decided on a lollipop?"
"Yes, sir. Detective Badd is always sucking on a lollipop, so I'd give it a try and see if it worked for me, too."
"Detective Badd."
"He's one of the detectives down at the precinct. Usually I call him Pops, because I think that sounds cool, but--"
"Detective." Miles' soft sigh was a weary one. "I know who Detective Badd is. I met him on the same day I met you, if you recall."
"That's right!" Gumshoe laughed and scratched the back his head. "I forgot for a second, can you believe that?"
Miles could.
"That sure was a crazy day, wasn't it?" Gumshoe went on. "I wonder if we'll ever--"
"Please," said Miles, interrupting before he was washed away in a flood of overblown nostalgia and unnecessary speculation, "can you tell me why you think a lollipop would be a good 'gimmick' for you if it is already in use by Detective Badd? In that case, it's hardly distinctive."
Gumshoe took a minute to absorb his words. He blinked. "I--I hadn't thought of that, sir. That's a good point. Huh." He looked at the lollipop, which was still in his hand. "Guess I should go with something else."
"That might be a better idea."
"How about drinking coffee? There's a lot of free coffee down at the station. Or maybe I could play a musical instrument. Or wear reflective glasses?"
"You are the most--," he began, flustered, then broke off. There was no point in being insulting. He paused to compose himself. The detective had an unprecedented knack for perplexing him. "What do those things have to do with detective work?"
Gumshoe shrugged. "I don't know. Lollipops don't have a lot to do with detective work either."
"Then you can dispense with those as well."
"I guess so, sir." If Detective Gumshoe had had a crest, it would have fallen. As it was, the unkempt locks of hair that rose above his forehead wilted somewhat.
Miles nodded and coldly returned to his work, hoping that the detective would take the hint and leave, or at least keep quiet. For a short time, it seemed his hope was not in vain, but he soon became aware of a noise. A low yet constant, intrusive noise. He raised his head. The detective had, wonder of wonders, managed to quietly occupy himself, gazing at the books on Miles' shelf. He had also put the lollipop back in his mouth and was audibly sucking on it.
Miles opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Unlike Detective Badd, who, as Miles recalled, had kept his lollipop in his mouth for the most part, Gumshoe seemed driven by a compulsion to play with his. He kept pulling it out of his mouth, then sliding it back in, pausing in this back-and-forth intermittently to lick idly at the candy. As Miles watched his ceaseless fiddling, he slowly realized that time was beginning to pass, yet he had taken no action. He was sitting very still, as if transfixed. It was most unlike him. He felt he should at least clear his throat, or otherwise express his displeasure, yet he did not.
Even worse, the detective must have sensed his gaze and turned towards him. Gumshoe pulled out his lollipop. "Sir?" he asked.
Miles found himself wishing the detective would lick the candy again, and at the thought, he felt alarmingly warm beneath his suit. "Nothing, Detective. I simply wondered what you thought you were doing."
"I was just waiting around until you needed me for something."
"Honestly, that's not the most productive thing you could be doing." For some reason, Miles was unable to raise his sight line to the detective's eyes, instead continuing to focus on his mouth.
"Is there something I could do for you, sir?" asked Gumshoe hopefully.
Miles felt himself swallow, unable to control the response. "No, thank you."
"Are you sure? Because I would. I'd do anything."
Miles pressed his hands down on his desk, willing them to be still, concentrating on the cool, flat surface, trying to focus on anything other than the detective's wet and surely very sweet lips. "Yes. You can get rid of that candy. The noises you're making with it are quite irritating."
"But sir--"
Miles knew by that heartbroken look on his face what his protest was going to be before he made it.
Proving him right, Gumshoe said sorrowfully, "I spent money on it. I can't just throw it out."
"Very well!" Miles' voice came out sharper than he'd intended. "Finish the candy, but after that, you're not to buy any more of it, do you understand me?"
"I understand."
"Please try to eat it as quietly as possible," Miles added, more gently.
"Will do, sir." Gumshoe brightened. "I won't let you down."
Miles didn't see what eating candy like a normal adult had to do with not letting him down, but he didn't comment on that point. "And will you drop this ridiculous idea of having a gimmick? You already have your pencil, isn't that enough?"
"Hey, right, my pencil!" Gumshoe reached up to check his ear, and yes, the bright red pencil was tucked behind it, as usual. "I love my pencil."
"I know," said Miles. The detective was still sucking on that candy of his. Miles forced himself to look away. At least he only had to suffer through the time it took the detective to consume one of the candies, and that wouldn't last much longer, for logic dictated--
Yes, there it was. The telltale crunch as the detective lost patience with sucking and bit down on his lollipop. Miles breathed a sigh of relief.
"What was that, sir?"
"Nothing, Detective."
Miles had miscalculated, but it wasn't until the next morning that he realized his mistake. Gumshoe showed up, popping in through the office door without knocking, as always. As had been the case the day before, a lollipop stick was jutting from the corner of his mouth.
Miles scowled. "Detective. Didn't I tell you to give up on those things?"
"What, my sucker?" Gumshoe pulled it out of his mouth noisily. His lips and the candy gleamed. "Yeah, you did. And I'm not going to buy any more. Promise."
"But what about that one?" asked Miles, yet even as he asked the question, the awful realization was dawning on him.
"Oh, I bought a big bucket of them on clearance down at the dollar store! So I've got weeks' worth of them. They're pretty good, too. They don't taste old or anything." He popped the lollipop back in his mouth and began to suck again.
Miles shuddered. He felt unspeakably warm, torn between telling the detective never to eat another lollipop again and telling him to keep sucking on it because it looked so good--not that he'd ever say anything of the kind out loud. Oh, but he was weak. What was he going to do?
"Are you okay, sir?" the detective asked, his brow creasing. "You look all flushed."
Before Miles could do anything to stop him, the detective was at his desk, touching his face. "No," Miles insisted weakly, making himself pull away. "I'm fine, I assure you."
"If you're sure, sir." Gumshoe leaned over him, eyes narrowed in concern, the sugary smell of the candy strong on his breath.
Miles licked his lips. "I'm sure," he said, without much conviction. He forced himself to turn away and pick up a case file. The few weeks ahead of him were going to be long ones indeed.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 04:31 am (UTC)Some of my favorite lines:
Gumshoe grinned so broadly and earnestly that Miles found it difficult to muster real anger at him.
My question was not literal, but I see I must spell things out for you, as usual.
"Please," said Miles, interrupting before he was washed away in a flood of overblown nostalgia and unnecessary speculation,
If Detective Gumshoe had had a crest, it would have fallen.
And of course, I love the moment Gumshoe realizes he has a gimmick: the pencil!!
So cuuuuute! Nice job, you! I loved it!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 04:45 am (UTC)Yes, poor Gumshoe forgot his own gimmick! I guess he was just so excited about trying something new, not to mention LOLLIPOPS. Pencils probably don't taste as good, sadly.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 10:34 pm (UTC)WET, SWEET LIPS~
"Are you sure? Because I would. I'd do anything."
yessssss
I'm sure it worked on Faraday, too ;3
no subject
Date: 2010-08-15 08:10 pm (UTC)Haha yes, I'm sure the lollipop trick must have worked on Faraday, too. No question! ;3
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 09:50 am (UTC)Anyway, even with the late comment this story amused me greatly. Poor Gumshoe, he's clueless as to what he does to Edgeworth. Horny!Edgeworth without any sort of outlet made me laugh far too much as well, hope he enjoys the weeks of lolly sucking noises. ;P
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 09:10 pm (UTC)I'm really glad this amused you. I confess, I do enjoy clueless Gumshoe and suffering Edgeworth, it's too funny. Hopefully Edgeworth can survive his terrible ordeal! Or maybe he'll finally break down and give his detective a kiss. ;3
no subject
Date: 2010-09-16 04:56 pm (UTC)